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I Feel Left Out
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My best friend is with her boyfriend all the time. I feel left out.

Pastor Edmond Answers: Male-female relationships inevitably affect almost all other relationships. I’m not sure there’s any way around that issue.

So I guess the first thing I’d say you should do when your best friend leaves you for her boyfriend is to be realistic–some things are going to change.

There are only so many hours in the day. And inevitably, some of the time your friend used to spend with you she’s now going to spend with her boyfriend.

You also need to be honest. Sometimes (though maybe not in your case) we get a little jealous.

While I was in college my two best friends got girlfriends way before I did. That meant that I spent some Saturday nights alone, which wasn’t much fun. But a true friend is happy when their friend is happy.

Your friend may be spending too much time with her boyfriend. Getting a boyfriend or a girlfriend shouldn’t mean the person drops all their other friends. But sometimes that does happen.

So try to be a friend anyway. True friendship, as I tell my children, is not always a because-of thing. Sometimes it’s an in-spite-of thing. You remain friends in spite of the things your friends do that get on your nerves.

Most of all, be there for your friends. Most relationships end sooner or later, and then your friend will need you to be a friend, even if she wasn’t a very good one to you.

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By D.C. Edmond. Reprinted with permission from Insight Magazine Online. Copyright © 2009 by GraceNotes. All rights reserved. Use of this material is subject to usage guidelines.

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