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Honestly, I’m Not Okay
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“How are you doing?” It’s the standard, universal question asked in greeting to launch any casual conversation. We are so used to asking and being asked this, that it is virtually lost all meaning. Usually when someone asks me, I don’t even think about my response; just parrot back the standard, “I’m fine, and you?” It’s the polite way to launch any small talk; a greeting at church, interaction with a business associate, or a phone call from a relative.

The problem is there are plenty of days where I am not fine. I can’t soothe my fussy baby, I burned the potato casserole, or I am feeling under the weather. If I owned up to these small problems there is a good chance that even casual acquaintances could sympathize with me and my honesty could lead to a shared connection.

But what about the bigger problems? The times when I feel lonely, am plagued with self-doubt, or am not sure where my life is going? I rarely, if ever, admit to such dark feelings of fear, judgment or rejection.

I know that I can’t be alone in this but it doesn’t make it any easier to admit to when I am struggling. I would say that most of us feel the need to portray ourselves as “having it together”. We fear that we will be judged for our weaknesses.


This façade can even creep into my relationship with God. I find myself not taking my problems to God because they don’t seem “big” enough or they aren’t justifiable. There are Christians dying for their faith, orphans starving, and here I am, frustrated over some petty problem like getting my lesson plans written.

God has something else to say to my incorrect perception. “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach” (James 1:5).* I need to learn and relearn that God can handle hearing about whatever I am struggling with; big or small. If I can trust Him enough to be consistently honest with my problems, maybe I can start to be more honest with others.

By breaking through the expected small talk, real and deeper connections are waiting to produce a harvest of blessings.

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By MiKaela Miller. Copyright © 2014 by GraceNotes. All rights reserved. Use of this material is subject to usage guidelines. Scripture taken from the NEW KING JAMES VERSION © 1982.

* I provided the emphasis

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