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Tomorrow morning I am scheduled for a biopsy. There was an irregular area on my mammogram yesterday and so they want to take a better look.

I guess it would make more sense for me to write something about this experience next week when I have the results. A my-prayers-were-answered sort of post, or a the-Lord-has-a-plan-in-this-difficult-time sort of article. But as I sit here tonight trying not to be afraid, I realized that this is the important moment for me. The in-between moment. The unknown.

I’m blessed with many wonderful friends and loving family members who have said encouraging and supportive things over the last 24 hours. I’ve heard a lot of, “Oh, I’m sure it will be fine,” and “I had a biopsy once and it’s not so bad” and “It’s probably nothing.” But they don’t really know, do they.  

I have to admit that my life has flashed before my eyes a few times today. And I know I’m getting ahead of myself, but that’s what happens in the in-between, right? In the unknown.  

A Few Days

My visit here will only last for a few days. But there are those among us who must live in the in-between for weeks, months, and even years.  

Fear lives here. And Doubt. And a good dose of Lonely. Anger sometimes puts up a tent, and his friend Pity. And they are dark friends, all.  

But as I’ve sat in this place today, there is also a warm glow from the other side of the room. It’s not a sparkly, sunshiny, everything’s-going-to-be-ok light. It’s a warm glow that says bring your burdens here and I will give you rest and comfort. It’s the light of a candle that spreads into the dark corners. It’s a light to take away the chill of fear. It is my Father’s light.  

Instead of standing in the cold with Fear, I am choosing to sit and be comforted by the arm’s of my God. I do not hear promises that everything is fine, but I hear the promise that no matter the outcome, my God will be here. That he will never leave me nor forsake me.

"Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand" (Isaiah 41:10).

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By Joelle Yamada. Copyright © 2013 by GraceNotes. All rights reserved. Use of this material is subject to usage guidelines. Scripture taken from the NEW LIVING TRANSLATION © 1996.

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