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Absolute Commitment
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Twenty five years. Young adults are often shocked to hear of couples staying married for 25 years. And when they hear of marriages lasting 50 years, they think such couples have come from another planet. Yet, even though most marriages hardly last the first seven years, growing numbers of couples are searching for secrets to long lasting relationships. There are many, but here is a key factor: absolute commitment.

Men often find their wives to be mystical beings who are difficult to understand. Too quickly they give up instead of knowing more deeply the mate which God so lovingly brought to them. If there is an unsettling clack in their car engine, some men will almost tear their cars apart to figure out the problem. But if he asks his wife, “How are you doing?” and she responds, “Oh, I don’t know…” he’ll drop the conversation in an instant.

Absolute commitment does not quickly give up. Absolute commitment is a forever pledge to pursue the heart of your bride. It lovingly keeps pressing to know, to understand, to care. It doesn’t tromp over the heart of your wife or force her to tell you something. It is gentle and strong. It is patient and sensitive. It is something that is learned over time, not in a short weekend marriage seminar.

Entertaining Doubts

Entertaining doubts about your marriage swings wide a door to little demons that will come in and start demolishing absolute commitment. It is a worthless pursuit to ponder quitting, leaving, abandoning or walking away. A man who is truly like Christ, who is truly mature, will keep unselfishly pursuing his wife until death separates them.

What does this do for the heart of a wife? Here is how one writer describes absolute commitment:

“Love which lives despite everything, love that lasts a lifetime is the only thing that can make a woman vibrate to the very core of her being. Unconditional love, which is not afraid to proclaim that it has found its mate for life, is the only thing that can give a woman’s heart the security that will allow her to abandon her entire body, spirit and being to the one who, by his commitment to love and cherish her until death, proves that he truly loves her and her alone” 1

“Forsaking all others” must be more than a duty. It must spring from a heart of devotion. As a Christian, there is a simple way to describe absolute commitment in marriage—death to self. It is turning from one’s own opinions, agendas, pursuits, and desires and caring about the heart of another. Jesus led the way. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her…” (Ephesians 5:25). Jesus’ forever commitment led to the cross of Calvary. That’s a good beginning place for all husbands who want to learn about absolute commitment.

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By Curtis Rittenour. Copyright © 2011 by GraceNotes. All rights reserved. Use of this material is subject to usage guidelines. 

1 Woman’s True Desire.Daniele Starenkyj.


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