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The Perfect Mate
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A friend shared that he noticed his wife had “that look” in her eyes. He invited her to go for a walk. His daughter wanted to join them, but he said, “Not this time, Daddy needs to spend some time with Mommy alone.” As they walked together, his wife unburdened her heart over some things that were bothering her. My friend listened and apologized and listened some more. He had said some things that hurt her. At the end of their walk they embraced. My friend said “that look” was gone and replaced with a smile and a look of peace.

What is amazing about this incident is that my friend even noticed “that look” in his wife’s face. Most men are clueless. It’s something he has been working hard at because he wants to learn how to more deeply love his spouse. Many times my friend either didn’t notice “that look” or if he did, ran the other direction. He didn’t want to listen to his wife “unload” on him (which didn’t feel good). Of course it wasn’t helping their marriage.

Not Say Anything

God created wives to respond to their husbands. The Lord specially made women with sensitivity to the state of their marriage and family. If things are not going well, they don’t easily brush it off. They want to see things change for the better. A lot of women are hesitant to approach their husbands to talk about issues because of how poorly their husbands have treated them in the past. So, they often try other things (like take the blame or read lots of religious books about how a true Christian wife should be submissive to her husband—in other words, not say anything to upset him).

Yet God has provided the husband with the perfect mate to help him see and understand relational issues that he might overlook. Most husbands resent their wives “trying to straighten them out” because they are proud and stubborn. They misperceive their wives motives and feel defensive. Instead, they should welcome the input from their better half and leave the door always open.

Husbands, if you see “that look” on your wife’s face, be a man and pursue her the way Scripture calls you to. “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7).

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By Curtis Rittenour Copyright © 2011 by GraceNotes. All rights reserved. Use of this material is subject to usage guidelines. Scripture taken from the NEW KING JAMES VERSION © 1982.

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