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Marriage Cement
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When I got engaged, and for the first year after our wedding, old married people often told me that sex was overrated. But I wonder if sex isn’t misrepresented more than it is overrated.

The media that is prevalent today paints an unrealistic picture of the love life. It is little wonder that so many of us go into marriage with expectations that are tainted by the things we have seen and heard.

Sex and romance in marriage might not be everything the books said it would be. Yet, we can’t forget that God intended this very thing to be one of the beautiful mysteries of marriage and that it is important.


Sometimes we blur the lines between sex and love a little too much, and forget that good sex isn’t love, but that truly good sex in a loving, godly marriage is a result of love. When we try to separate them, we find out that it can’t be done. Sex is about being vulnerable, about sharing a part of us that involves us mentally, physically and emotionally. Trying to separate the physical and the emotional experience prevents us from experiencing intimacy in the way that God wants us as couples to enjoy.

Being vulnerable is scary. We’ve spent all our lives building walls and creating secret doors in our hearts to lock things in and keep others out so we don’t get hurt. In marriage, all of those walls have to come down, and we have to let each other in. Sex takes work. It takes being willing to give completely. It takes focusing on the needs of someone else instead of just our own. Good sex is like a marriage glue that binds hearts and maintains the cement of our commitment, reminding us that we’re better together, and that this is how God intended us to be.

So, sex may not be all that some people make it out to be. It may not always be steamy, and sometimes it might be hard. But is it worth it? You better believe it.

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By Chantel Brankshire. Copyright © 2011 by GraceNotes. All rights reserved. Use of this material is subject to usage guidelines.

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