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Marriage Glue
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When I was a young teenager, some friends introduced me to a brand new product called Super Glue. They described its power in being able to hold the weight of a car. I was skeptical. So, they asked me if I would participate in a demonstration. I naively agreed to let them glue my thumbs and index fingers together to form a loop. When I tried to break them apart, I thought I would tear the skin off my fingers. My friends were rolling on the floor with laughter before finally freeing me with a heavy dousing of rubbing alcohol.

I’m a believer in Super Glue. And I’m also a believer that marriages need glue to hold them together. When couples are dating and get engaged, they pour thousands of hours into meaningful conversation that helps glue them together. This emotional bond is a necessary part of a fulfilling marriage. It creates a deep “knowing” that connects two people heart to heart.

Some people would disagree and say sexual intimacy is the glue that bonds a couple for life. But I would ask, “Would a couple be bonded in a deep way if they did not have meaningful communication?” This can be readily seen in a wife whose husband pressures her for a special evening without connecting their hearts together. Many women feel used if they do not have opportunity to cuddle and connect first. Physical intimacy ought to be a celebration of emotional intimacy. Knowing each other by sharing your thoughts and feelings lays a foundation for knowing each other physically.

Men Have the Ability to Talk

Men will often say, “This emotional connection stuff is just not me. I don’t know how to do it. It doesn’t seem that important. Besides, we already know each other just fine!” These men are about as naïve as I was about the power of Super Glue. Forgive me for pushing back on these lame excuses, but men do have the ability to talk. Most of them simply need to look back on how they courted their wives. They had plenty to talk about. And have you considered that just because you feel it isn’t important only indicates your thinking about yourself and not your spouse?

One Christian counselor* indicates that the amount of meaningful conversation that most women feel per week would be helpful in being intimately close to their husbands is 15 hours. That shocks most men. Yet during their dating years they probably exceeded that number with ease!

Marriages are splitting up at an all time high. Couples struggle with such busy lives that they simply do not take the time necessary to provide the glue that will bond them together. One such super glue is meaningful communication. It is time to take the time to come close to your spouse in a way that nothing can separate. Not evening rubbing alcohol!

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By Curtis Rittenour. Copyright © 2010 by GraceNotes. All rights reserved. Use of this material is subject to usage guidelines. *Willard Harley, His Needs, Her Needs (Revell Publishing, 2001)

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