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Love Life
Photo: Vladislav Susoy
It was with great displeasure that I carelessly flipped through the pages of the book I’d just received for my birthday, pretending to be interested. I knew I had no need to pretend; everyone knew my dislike for that topic. It was one of those books, the Christian-relationship-perfect-example-of-pure-love book. Not only had I read them all before, (because I thought once you’d read one you’d read them all) but God and I had…issues…when it came to the topic of my love life.

I went through a stage where, as all Christians do, I passionately wanted God to take over every area of my life. The surrender part lived for one summer; I stepped back and let God handle things. On paper, it was one of the worst summers of my life, but I remember it as the awe-full time in my life when I was the closest to God. I could feel His hand making my every decision. I loved it, but then He did some things I didn’t like—a lot of things I didn’t like. I quickly removed His hand from the steering wheel, the pen, the clay (or whichever metaphor you’d like to use). For three years I accused God of messing up my love life.

God Smarter Than Me

I lay the book aside and knew I would probably never read it. But God was smarter than me.

My friends took a quick interest in my new book and the next thing I knew they were crowded on Sally’s bed reading the book as a group which became “our” favorite way to spend a Sabbath afternoon.

I was not happy, and I made that perfectly clear. I listened bitterly, and made comments the same way while I clutched a pillow to my chest perhaps a bit too strongly. I watched my friends make changes in their lives as they decided to “let God write their love story” and yet I remained stubborn. But God is smarter than me.

It was with teary eyes that I finally admitted to myself that God had not made a single mistake and it had been my mistake in snatching the steering wheel. I thought I knew myself well enough to take care of my own love story, and while I did struggle with God’s choices in my life, it was the consequences of removing God’s hand that gave me the greater struggle.

While the topic is still not my favorite, I’m reading and finding many things that bring back the awe-full feeling that comes from knowing that God is fulfilling His plan. I have learned (and am still learning) that God knows me far better than I know myself, and that He is more than capable of “writing my love story.” I’ve learned (yes, I am still learning) that God is interested in this part of my life, too. And I’ve learned (this one solidly) that if I am so willing to entrust my decisions to myself, I should be more than okay with entrusting my decisions, even the love life ones, to a God that has never made a single mistake. 

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