Home > Archives > Family First >
The Perfect Proposal
Photo: Dreamstime
Eight years ago, on St. Patrick’s day, Brent proposed to me. Each year as the holiday approaches, I am reminded how important it is to really listen to and honor my husband.

Every girl hopes for the perfect fairytale proposal. One that both surprises and overwhelms her. One that sweeps her off her feet and makes it impossible to respond with anything but a whole-hearted YES! 

That is not the proposal that I got. But it was pretty much my own fault.

For Christmas that year, Brent had given me a certificate for a series of golf lessons. Now, I know there are a lot of women out there who love to golf. But I used to be one of those women who made fun of golf—of anyone who would spend hours wandering around on grassy paths with little sticks trying to find a tiny hole. Of the divot tools and golf tees and ball markers and special golf gloves. Silly. All of it. Or so it seemed to me.

So when I received his gift, I was honestly a bit disdainful. Golf? What a cheesy gift. He clearly wasn’t thinking of me and the things I liked at all. He hadn’t paid any attention to the myriad of hints I’d dropped about the new boots I really wanted. Men!

Soon after Christmas, his ship deployed for a six-week training mission. He mentioned that this might be the perfect time for me to take the lessons as I’d have more free time with him gone. But I didn’t listen. I wasn’t trying to be mean, but I really didn’t have any interest in golf and it just seemed like such a ridiculous thing for him to want me to do.

When he returned, he asked if I’d taken the lessons and I did feel a little guilty saying no to him, but told him I’d do it soon.

Puddle of Tears

Weeks went by and the marriage proposal that I was expecting didn’t come. We had even begun discussing when and where our wedding might be, but I’d not actually been asked. In a hissy fit one day, I melted into a puddle of tears and whined, “Why haven’t you asked me to marry you yet???”

And he said, “Because you haven’t taken the golf lessons.”

His side of the story goes something like this. He wanted to plan the perfect proposal. Something that would both surprise me and sweep me off my feet. He’d decided that it would be fun to use an engagement ring as a ball marker and pick the most beautiful green on the prettiest golf course to kneel and ask me to be his wife.

But I hadn’t taken the lessons.

Luckily for me, a week later he proposed to me in his living room. And though it wasn’t a movie perfect proposal, I happily said yes. And vowed to never again belittle a request that he made of me.

My husband is a soft-spoken man. I have learned over the last eight years that I need to really listen to him. That he doesn’t say things flippantly or without thought (like I sometimes do). I have learned that when he asks something of me, even when it seems ridiculous, that there is probably a good reason.

In this case, he did want to propose on the golf course, but he also thought golf could be a wonderful activity for us to be able to do as a couple as we began our life together. I now know, with three kids underfoot and barely the chance to spend more than a few minutes together each day, that he was right. How lovely it would be to spend several hours walking peacefully on green grassy lanes with one of those little sticks and my beloved husband.

Is it too late for me to take lessons now? 

Respond to this article   View Reader Comments

By Joelle Yamada. Copyright © 2010 by GraceNotes. All rights reserved. Use of this material is subject to usage guidelines.

SiteMap. Powered by SimpleUpdates.com © 2002-2018. User Login / Customize.