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Loss of a Dream
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Photo: Studiomill
We lost Washington.

As a military family, we are used to the moving process that happens every three to four years.  It all starts about nine months out when a list is released showing possible bases we can move to.  And for six months now, our family has been sure that we were going to be transferred to Washington State.

We got an email last week saying there was a problem with our orders, and by that night, after my husband made lengthy phone calls trying to figure out anyway for us to still go to Washington, it was clear we’d lost the orders. Instead we’re going to Southern California for the next four years.

I am a bit devastated.

Now you may be thinking, “What’s wrong with sunny California?”

If you heard my best friend’s response, you’d get it.  ”Were you crying is it because you lost Washington or because you are getting Southern California?”

Definitely the former.

I am Ms. Planner

The loss of the dream of Washington is hurting my heart. I knew where the boys were going to take karate and when their swimming lessons would start. I knew all of the farmer’s markets and the inn I wanted to take Brent to for our anniversary. I’d been looking at houses online for months. If you know me, you get this. I am Ms. Planner.

So it’s not that Southern California isn’t a fabulous place (in fact, I lived there for 20 years). It’s just that it’s not where we were supposed to go.

In the days since our plans were changed for us, my husband and I have talked a lot about what God’s voice sounds like. So many things had happened that made us sure God wanted us to go to the Pacific Northwest. But evidently there is a plan for us in California.

With every move God and the military has chosen for our lives, we have been able to look back and see the beautiful things God gave us in those unexpected places. But some days it is easy to feel like we have no control over our lives and it makes me want to pick a fight with the entire U.S. Military. My perspective changes significantly if I remember that it is not me struggling with the military for control, but me struggling with God.

He has a plan. I just have to be willing to yell, “Uncle” in the struggle and instead, get up and take a step forward in faith.

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps" (Proverbs 16:9).

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By Joelle Yamada. Copyright © 2010 by GraceNotes. All rights reserved. Use of this material is subject to usage guidelines.
Scripture taken from the NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION ®.


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