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Forgetting the Girl
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Photo: Dmitry Naumov
I keep forgetting her. My brand new baby girl.

There's been nothing traumatic yet, but I just keep forgetting that she exists. I'll be driving along and suddenly remember that she is behind me in her car seat. Or I'll be talking to someone and mention going somewhere with my boys—and they'll say, “Aren't you taking Kira, too?” Or she'll be quietly asleep upstairs and I'll be downstairs and it will suddenly hit me KIRA EXISTS! The worst is that I have dreams of forgetting her for real. Of accidently leaving her home when I go to dinner or something like that.

Unfortunately, this is not a totally unfounded fear.

When Jake was a baby, we were living in England. One day when he was very young, I went to our little local market, parked in the parking lot and walked the 15 steps to the door. Bought some lettuce, asparagus and tomatoes, paid, and walked back to the car. Halfway back I PANICKED seeing that there he was, asleep in his car seat. I had left him in the car.

Luckily, the weather was cool, he was locked in and I had only been away from the car for maybe 4-5 minutes. But these are the things people call Child Protective Services for—and I'd done it.

Imprinted on My Mind

I'm not sure why this happens. Maybe it’s a mixture of post-natal brain hormones and the blowing of all your previous paradigms by the arrival of a new member of the family? Whatever the reason, it is a little scary and I'm looking forward to having her so imprinted in my mind that it stops happening!  

In the mean time, I have a new procedure. Before leaving the house or starting the car or getting out of the car, I've started counting my children! (But my husband is on his own. I can't remember him, too!)

Luckily, our Father in heaven does not have any problems with remembering His children. Isaiah reminds us that even when we accuse him of forgetting us, He is there.

“Yet Jerusalem says, “The Lord has deserted us; the Lord has forgotten us.”

“Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you! See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands””  (Isaiah 49:14-16a).

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By Joelle Yamada. Copyright © 2010 by GraceNotes. All rights reserved. Use of this material is subject to usage guidelines. Scripture taken from the NEW LIVING TRANSLATION
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