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Call Mother!
Photo: Yuri Arcurs
Why do you think it is that men find it harder than women to call their mothers? This was the question-of-the hour as I traveled with my neighbor to our Co-op for organic produce.

Funny you should ask, I commented. This week someone in a library at the graduate school where my husband once taught found a book with his name in it. In it was a letter addressed to Doug from his mother. His mother wrote the letter to him while he was away at college more than 40 years ago. The friend who discovered the letter mailed it to Doug thinking that my husband might enjoy reading it after all these years.

The letter was indeed a wonderful surprise. Doug’s mother died in the late 1960’s. In the letter she pleaded with him to call her more often. She noted that she assumed everything was fine as she had not heard from him otherwise!

Doug admitted to me that in almost every letter he ever received from his mother she reminded him she had not had a call or letter from him recently.


My neighbor told me how her husband didn’t call his mother either. She claimed that after they were married Dan’s mother would not have heard from him as often as she did had it not been for her. Dan was his mother’s “baby”. My neighbor knew her husband’s mother was good at nagging him. She also knew he hated that and was the excuse he gave for not wanting to call her very often. Lynn told him that regardless, his mother was still his mother and deserved his call at least once-a-month.

We speculated that in 2009 men may text or e-mail their technologically savvy Moms more often. We concluded that when men become financially independent of their parents they want to show to themselves and others that they can take care of themselves.

A search on the web for clues about the phenomenon of sons’ infrequent calls to their mothers netted this example:

“The commercial was advertising the company’s new digital phone service and was encouraging all viewers, but men in particular, to sign up with Comcast phone access this mother’s day so they could give their mothers a call and wish them well. The funny commercial had scenes of mothers of all countries and languages clutching phones to their ears and systemically fainting to the ground in disbelief as the voices of their sons sounded through the ear pieces. The humorous punch line is that sons never call, thus when they do, it creates such a monumental shock to the mothers that it leaves them dumbfounded."  http://www.moneybluebook.com/explaining-why-financially-independent-men-rarely-call-their-mothers

Regardless of whether you are male or female, prefer to text, tweet, do instant messaging, e-mail or have a web cam, pick up the phone and call your mother. When she’s gone, you’ll be glad you did.

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By Carole Kilcher. Copyright © 2009 by GraceNotes. All rights reserved. Use of this material is subject to usage guidelines.

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