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The Girlfriend Need
Photo: Linda DuBose
As a transplant to Florida, I meet other people who are also transplants. A complaint I hear from them is the lack of friends. They miss their old friends—and sometimes so much that they return to where they moved from.

Old friends are absolutely wonderful; however, they shouldn’t be a barrier to making new ones. It’s true that it often takes effort to acquire new friends. It seems the older one is, the slower it happens.

I’ve gone through this many times over the years, as my husband and I have crisscrossed the United States due to job transfers. I’ve found no matter how old I get that I still need girlfriends; gals to do lunch with, to shop with but most of all just to talk with.

For most of us, “the girlfriend need” starts with us females when we’re little. We get prepared for grown-up life by playing house together, playing roles as teacher, doctor, nurse, etc. We giggle a lot—and dress up in mommy-clothes and accessories that make us feel all grown-up and glamorous—and we talk, talk, talk.

Except for the clothing and accessories being our own as adults, the scenario isn’t a lot different. Get two or more women together and non-stop chatter is bound to start. Along with the gal-talk, giggles ensue. We act silly. We have so much fun together. Rarely are we gathered, that we aren’t upbeat.

Emotionally Poverty Stricken

Of course, there are the times that we share our tears too. It’s in those valleys that we realize the true worth of girlfriends. If we don’t have them at hand to help us through our tough times and to comfort us, we’re emotionally poverty stricken.

Girlfriends don’t always agree as children or as adults. Yet some of the strongest heart ties result because of honesty instead of façade. We are who we are—and we’re drawn to other women friends even if they aren’t exactly as we are. This is especially so with Christian friends. As Christians we are “of kind” yet so diverse. It’s the diversity that makes the friendships interesting—and praying together that makes it so binding.

Once my husband and I were called by a nurse at the local hospital, “Come quickly, your friend, Clarene needs you.” When we walked into the small ante room in the ER, she sat in a chair with her family around her. She looked bewildered saying, “He’s gone!” A blood clot had just taken her husband Bill’s life.

In my own grief for losing this dear friend and in utter compassion for her, I fell to my knees in front of her, taking her hands and I prayed. Only after that did I feel as if I might be intruding. I told her daughter how I felt. She responded, “A person doesn’t have much choice in who the relatives are but they choose their friends. You belong here!”

That week Clarene and I shopped for an outfit for her to wear for the funeral—and guess what? We got to giggling in the shop. We talked about “girlfriendship.” We deducted that the Lord designed girlfriends at any age to be our counterparts. For most of us, they are a necessary part of our femaleness.

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By Betty Kossick. Copyright © 2009 by GraceNotes. All rights reserved. Use of this material is subject to usage guidelines.

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