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Wedding Day
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Hidden behind all the clothes I actually wear, is a beautiful white dress. My mother and I went to a special fabric store in Seattle to pick out material for this perfect garment. A family friend stitched it together with love from a picture I had drawn of exactly what I wanted. So far the story of my wedding day looks seamless.

However, I have a love hate relationship with my wedding dress. Everything else leading up to my wedding was less than what the fairytales had told me. Our wedding was canceled a few months prior to the first planned date due to family conflict. I wondered if it really was going to happen. How would I be able to assure everyone else that Tim and I were making the right choice? Would we ever agree on a date that would fit everybody's needs? After asking these questions I realized that I could not make everyone happy. Almost everything felt like it had fallen apart, but the most important factor in the wedding remained perfect.

Tim was the only man I could imagine spending the rest of my life with, and through all of the stressful wedding related conflicts, I needed to remember that. Because I was spending all of my energy trying to make everyone else happy, I was sabotaging any chance for actual joy in the process of getting married. I had heard about people having cold feet, but in our case, that was the only thing I was not worried about. When I met Tim I knew that there was something special about him. As we became friends I was even more certain that I wanted to be with him always. Honestly, if he had randomly asked me to marry him before we started dating, I would have been prepared to say, “Yes.”

At Peace

We finally did set a date that would work for us and stuck to it. I remember walking down the aisle with my eyes fixed on him. When I reached him, it was as if everyone else disappeared and we were standing there locked in our own private conversation through glances and smiles. In that moment, we were at peace knowing that very soon we would be married.

As I said my vows and listened to his, I forgot about other people's critisims towards us. Even though it was special to share the wedding ceremony with friends and family, they couldn't take the place of the main reason for the wedding. Everyone may have had valid opinions, but I was not spending the rest of my life with them. It would be nice to look back and think about how things could have been if everything had moved along smoothly, but I look back and think this was a better representation of the marriage to come.

My husband and I are still very happily married and our four year anniversary is this fall. I know that we have not been married for very long, and from my experience so far, not every moment is a perfect. However, the most import factor is still there; I love him and he loves me and we work through the not so perfect moments. We look for each others eyes during difficult times and find comfort, just as we did on our wedding day.

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By Marion Ruybalid. Copyright © 2008 by GraceNotes. All rights reserved. Use of this material is subject to usage guidelines.

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