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Beyond Crazy
Photo: Marcelo Mokrejs
When Emmerson Eggerich talks about the “crazy cycle” he isn’t referring to the frantic round-and-round scramble of our daily lives. He’s calling attention to the disconcerting periods when our relationships get caught up in an all-too-common but relationally-damaging pattern.

Emmerson explains that at the core, women want to be loved and when women don’t feel loved they tend to respond in ways that seem disrespectful to men. Men, on the other hand, deep down, long to be respected and when men don’t feel respected they tend to respond in ways that feel unloving to women.

The “crazy cycle”. It isn’t a new problem and though we may not have recognized what was at the heart of our experience, we can relate to the pain that the experience generated. God wants to help us stay clear of this pain and that’s why he gave specific but different reminders:

Men love your wives. Women respect your husbands. (see Ephesians 5:33)

He reminded us because he knew that men and women with their differing strengths have differing needs, just as he created them to have. Because of those differences, giving what the other needs doesn’t come naturally. And giving what doesn’t come naturally is hard! But again, God doesn’t require us to do something without providing us with the means to do it. 

"For you have been born again… through the living word…Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good" (I Peter 1:24-2:3).

Sweet Relationships

Relationally that’s telling us, do what is necessary to rid ourselves of baggage - malice, deceit, hypocrisy, envy, slander - get the bad taste out of our mouths. Then like babies, crave the good taste of sweet relationships. (a directive and a choice). Sweet relationships will help us grow up relationally. When we’ve tasted sweet relationship we’ll then, like babies, crave more of the good taste of sweet relationships so…. we’ll choose to rid ourselves of… and we’ll taste... and crave... and choose...There, we have it. The anti-“crazy cycle”, a solution by God.

The “crazy cycle” is driven by human needs and human behaviour. The life-giving cycle is driven by God-filled needs and the resulting God-filled behaviour. Instead of looking to our spouse to “fill our needs”, we can turn those needs God-ward and let Him do the filling and in the process of turning our needs God-ward, a beautiful thing happens. The “crazy cycle” is broken and God-filled cycle begins.

Similar cycles. Round and round. Different ‘fuel”. Different “rides”. Taste and see. The Lord is good and the choice is ours.

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By C. Rene Ammundsen. Copyright © 2006 by GraceNotes. All rights reserved. Use of this material is subject to usage guidelines. Scripture taken from the New International Version ®.

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